i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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