i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
