I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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