Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize