i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
