mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
