sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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