the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
