Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
