Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
