I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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