porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
