I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
