my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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