Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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