just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Acid is not a monday night drug
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
