and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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