please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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