if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So much rum. So many feels.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
