I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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