Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
