I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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