ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you will always have a special place in my vag
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
