now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
