Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.

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(678): View more from Georgia

part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic

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(330): View more from Ohio

Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.

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(343): View more from Ontario

there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer

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