Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dear god my vagina.
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