My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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