So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
