so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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