I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
