Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
