So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
