I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
