Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
