I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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