guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
