I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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