I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
