I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
