Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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