Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
