I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize