He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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