Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
