I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize