Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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