Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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