once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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