i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
