Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
