three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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