I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
