I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
