I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Boobs speak an international language.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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