oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize