Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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