So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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