So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
