Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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