as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
God, I missed his penis.
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