Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
