you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
sex in a hospital.. check
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
